Why I Have a Favorite Child and Why You Should Too

By Sabrina Schlesinger

MY FAVORITE CHILD Pinterest 800x800.jpg

I have a favorite kid and I'm not afraid to admit it. I bring them in for a hug and whisper in their ear (even when the others kids are nearby) “You’re my favorite!” 

I know...we aren’t “supposed” to have favorites, but I can’t help it! I love the time I get to spend with them. I love their personality and how unique they are. I love their face, their smile and their laugh. They fill my heart with joy unspeakable so I can’t help but express to them where they stand in my heart!

For years I said the opposite. I told my children I loved them all the same, because that is what a "good" mom says. But then I started thinking about how I am God’s favorite. I seriously think this! I am the apple of His eye and His beloved...basically His favorite! And yes, I know He feels that way about you too, but somehow in the midst of all that He does and all that He is, He manages to see little me and makes me feel like I am His one and only. I hope you feel like you are His favorite too...because you are.

When I realized that our Heavenly Father allows us all to feel like we are His numero uno, I thought I should do the same for my kids!

So I started telling each one they were my favorite child…and more importantly, why. After saying this to each one over and over, I saw a beautiful transformation take place in my kids! One of my kids, who struggles with insecurity, took some convincing. Another felt bad for the other kids because she cares so deeply about others. Now they leave me notes signed by “your favorite child” and nothing could make me happier. I want them to walk in the confidence of my love for them and to know how truly special they are.

Now...I know that THEY know that I have told them all this. The secret is out....as intended....but there is still so much power when they hear these words from their mama. I love seeing the pep in their step as they walk around as mom’s “favorite child!”

Confidence is an interesting thing. The world says we are more confident when we seemingly have all of our ducks in a row....when we look like a certain image and have a certain status. But the message I am determined to teach my kids is that confidence, the unshakeable kind, comes from WHO we belong to and the love He has for us.

There is something so liberating when we know that we can't shake His love. It isn't earned, it isn't lost. 

This kind of freedom is available for our kids too. They are faced with all kinds of pressures in life. They may seem insignificant to us in light of the pressures we face, but their issues are real and daunting to them. They fear disappointing us, failing us and facing embarrassment in front of their peers. They feel the strain to conform to society's images of beauty and popularity. If my words of life and unconditional love can release the plug on the building tension inside of them, then by all means, I am going to do it. 

So go ahead and have your favorite! Let them in on the secret and see what it unleashes in their heart.

And don't forget, you are His favorite too!

Love + Blessings,

Sabrina


SabrinaSchlesinger.png

Sabrina is a mother to three biological girls and one adopted boy. She is also a pastor’s wife, freelance graphic designer, and mom coach! She resides in beautiful San Diego where the sun shines every day. She prefers chai lattes over coffee, mac-n-cheese over vegetables, and staying in over going out. Check her out on Instagram and Facebook!


Comment

Sabrina Schlesinger

I am officially middle-aged! I have gone up the hill and am now SLOWLY going down the other side.

I am married to my best friend! No really! Our first 10 months of dating were spent entirely in group settings, either working along side each other in ministry or at our families homes. We never had alone time. We never held hands. We never kissed. So we had a great amount of time to talk and really get to know each other. We read books, received counsel from our pastors, discussed our strengths and weaknesses in front of our parents, and built a foundation of friendship that I am forever grateful for. And let me tell you...when we did have our first kiss 10 months in....there were fireworks baby!!!! We are approaching our 17th anniversary and co-pastor Grace Church in Oceanside, CA. We are living out or dream and calling side by side.

I am a mom of 4. We have three girls and a boy.

When we gave birth to my first girl, Sophie (now 16), we thought we were amazing parents. She slept through the night, hardly every fussed, was beautiful and easy. First child syndrome...I know.

When I gave birth to Mattie (now 14) nearly two years later everything changed. She was colicky from the start, she had red raspberries on her face that turned BRIGHT RED when she screamed...so that was all the time, and as she grew, it didn't get any better. I seriously thought at one point she was demon possessed because her outrageous fits where over the top. I could often be found in a fetal position crying when Matthew, my husband came home. Little did I know then that Mattie and her over-the-top fits would be the catalyst for so many future ministry moments with other moms in desperate need of help and advice on raising toddlers...who too were crazy!

We thought we were done. After Mattie I was like, "No way, I can't risk having another kid like that! The only way I will get pregnant again is if God speaks to me directly, and I don't think He is planning that." Welp....I was wrong. I heard God speak to me one night as I was at a conference that we were to have a third child and He spoke some very special promises to me about this child. So out popped Lillian (aka Lily - now 11).

Lily wass one of those babies that everyone gravitated too. She had and still does have a spirit about her that is so welcoming, loving, and kind. People just love her and she loves people. I am so glad I obeyed the Lord on this one. After Lily we felt done. This time Matthew said, "If we are supposed to have any more children, God is going to have to speak to me directly." Fast forward 9 years!

In August of 2016 we were on a much needed family vacation, the five of us. It was at this time that God whispered in the ear of my husband that we were to adopt a child from our county. Matthew told me what God said and of course, I said, "Let's do it!" I will write another post about our adoption story later, but November 1st, 2017, at age 4 1/2, Shawn (now 6) came into our home and became our son.

I am a freelance graphic designer by trade and a pastor by calling, but I felt like there was something more I should be doing. Recently I asked myself a question..."What brings me life?" It was easy for me to answer. I LOVE helping young moms navigate through motherhood. I love giving advice to help moms get through tough and trying seasons of life. There is a generation of moms out there who have broken relationships with their own mothers and feel like they have no one to turn to. That breaks my heart. No mom should have to go through life alone with nobody to lean on. And this is where Mom Mentor was birthed.

So that is me in a nutshell. I am pretty simple, not high maintenance, a lover of mac-and-cheese and chai lattes, and slightly obsessed with all things dystopian. I am glad to have met you and I look forward to our journey together!

Love & Blessings,

Sabrina