When You're a Wife, Mother and a Queen

Kami Zumwalt

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I'm always intrigued by how much influence we have as women. Since the garden, women have been graced with a divine pull upon the hearts around them. Eve’s beauty so captured Adam’s heart, she was able to influence him to bite into poison. Jezebel, married to king Ahab, incited him to kill 400 of God's prophets and on the flip side, women like Abigail and Esther, used their influence to save nations

So when it comes to influencing our households, we hold tremendous power. I'm always looking for ways to shift my family closer to God's purposes. One of the best examples of a woman using her influence in her many spheres, was Bathsheba - wife, mother, and queen.

1. Everyone in the palace was listening.

I'm keenly aware what I speak and do in my home carries clout. Gone are the days of living alone with no little people asking why we paint our eyes, or if they can have our jewelry when their sixteen. (Little queens crack me up.)  Like Bathsheba, we have been promoted to full queen mother status. 

Bathsheba was known as a queen mother, or a " Gebirah" in Hebrew: One whose status is important in society. A queen mother really fits the bill of what all mothers are--priceless heart shapers, and atmosphere changers. Like Bathsheba, when Solomon was born, we spend our whole lives influencing those in the palace.  

Bathsheba knew insightful counsel was true influence. Her father, Eliam, was one of David's mighty men. Her grandfather, Ahithophel, was one of his chief advisors. Bathsheba, though not on a battlefield, knew how to help protect and influence the king. How many nights did she encourage David to be strong with the touch of her hand, a kind word, a listening ear, telling him to look to God for His answers? 

Surely there were times her roles were overwhelming. But the greater the role, the greater the grace. What we speak to our husbands in the inner chambers of our bedrooms, what we whisper into the ear of our children, become the inner thoughts reminding them who they are, and instill the confidence to rise up and do what they were born for.

With a crown on her head, and a spoon of oatmeal in her hand, Bathsheba was quick to realize she was shaping the hearts of a nation. She was the one who inspired the words, "The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain." (Proverbs 31) 

2.  Bathsheba could pass poison or power to her lineage.

I'm sure Bathsheba remembered the nightmare of her mistake. The night a young bride, innocently bathing on a roof, dreaming of her husband, Uriah, coming home from battle heard the sound of Kings soldiers in her house.

She was summoned to the Kings Chambers. Could she have resisted?  Should she have run? Were David's charms enough to make her forget the husband fighting for his country?

A night of passion could have haunted her. But instead, Bathsheba learned unless she rid herself of the poison of bitterness, she would influence her family to be bitter as well. The pain had to be let go. Mistakes forgiven. The slate of self-loathing wiped clean.

Bathsheba was a queen who learned from her mistakes. Whatever her past, she was not about to let them limit her son. Instead, she influenced young Solomon to sit on the throne--how many afternoon walks in the temple did she remind Solomon that he was a King in the making and Kings don't indulge in temporal indulgences? (Proverbs 31) Not once do you see her in Scripture still living in the shame of adultery or a murdered husband. Instead, she learned forgiveness is the language of royalty and fully expected her son to rule all of Israel.

3.  Bathsheba knew queen’s decrees have lasting impact.   

"It's not for Kings Lemuel, it's not for Kings…”  Even from a young age, Bathsheba decreed Solomon's future. He would be king. Nothing would stop him.

Solomon needed the nurture of a mother, and the decree of a queen. I can picture Bathsheba with Solomon in her lap, stroking his hair perhaps, and decreeing his destiny over him. She was gentle, yet firm, calling Solomon, Lemuel (a term of endearment) in Proverbs 31, and strong enough to go before the King, on behalf of her son when Adonijah was rising up to steal the throne in David’s final days.  

Decrees matter. I noticed my three year old has a knack for solving problems, I was quick to decree,“ You are a problem-solver!” My six year old has dancers’ feet, and breathes ballet. We call her a worshiper and a dancer often. Often, after I help my girls finish brushing their teeth, and tie bows into their hair, I lift them up and we stare into the mirror together. Then I have them decree after me something like this....

"I am a daughter of the Most High God. He loves me all the time. He talks to me, and I obey Him. I am blessed, I am loved. And I will do great things for God..."

Bathsheba so shaped Solomon into believing he was a King, he went on to write 1,500 proverbs, sought God for wisdom in decisions, established trade with other nations, and built a glorious gold-laid temple in Jerusalem. He so valued his mother's influence, she crowned him with his wedding crown (Song of Songs 3:11) and she held the seat of an advisor to his throne once he was King. 

God has made you an influencer, and placed His greatest treasures in your hands. You may feel you are merely scrubbing oatmeal off walls on any given day, but queen mother, yours are the hands currently shaping the next move of God.Who knows who you have living under your roof?  


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Kami is a forty-year-old pastor's wife, living in a farmhouse, raising two girls under six and an adorable six-month-old baby boy. She's a prophetess, women's pastor, prayer warrior, published freelance writer, and homeschool mom who loves antiques, tea cups, chocolate truffles and empowering women to live free and fulfilled in Christ. Follow her on Instagramand Facebook.