Back to the Beginning

By Christi Stone

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As a mom, have you ever wondered how you got where you are? I know I have. As a mother of six children I felt compelled with a sense of urgency to write this. In our family, with six children in our home, one can imagine the plethora of personalities. Most of the time, LIFE as a mom is GREAT and you find yourself trucking along in the fast pace of life…doing life. But then, out of nowhere without any warning, you feel as though you look up and look around and wonder “How did I get here?” Suddenly, without warning, LIFE hits you and into the storm you go.

Recently, I found myself in a vulnerable state as a mother. One of our sons is stationed far from home in the Army. One daughter, who was born with multiple health issues, came back with abnormal test results from a routine testing. While another son could no longer hide the fact that he was battling anxiety, depression, and thoughts of suicide. All of which hit our family within seven short days of each other.

I looked up. I looked up and thought, “How did I get here?” Feelings of disorientation and defeat overwhelmed me as thoughts entered my mind like, “Why?” or even thoughts of “How did I not see this?” I looked to God for answers and found that although He is silent, His overwhelming peace surrounds me.

So, as most of you know, life keeps moving. So here began our “See ya later” to our son as he left after Christmas for a year from home, an urgent trip to the children’s hospital for a biopsy for our daughter, followed with an urgent counseling session for our son. As the days have developed on and progress yet seen, it’s in this time that I look back and asked God where and how to begin to process, to parent, and move these new found mountains that face our family. His answer was simply, “Go back to the beginning.” 

This morning, I did just that. I started at the very beginning. Genesis, chapter 1. As I was reading, I began to feel that as mothers, we often need a reset mindset when we are tested with situations in our lives, our kids, and sometimes even our faith. And that’s ok. 

I have found that the beginning holds a beauty that is all its own. Yes, life happened, and as much as I wish I could control the issues that surround my children at this time, I cannot. But I can empower them, love them, and take them back to the beginning just as the Father took me, and together we can be refreshed by the love the Father has for us. 

Going back to the beginning reminded me that GOD IS IN CONTROL, even when I am not. And even in those times I do not know where I am, He does, and He is never far from me. I am reminded there is not a blade of grass, a grain of sand, and creature on land, water or sky that He doesn’t know by name. That just as the wind and the waves know His name, He knows mine and my children. So, when the mountains and storms come in life, and they undoubtedly do, I am comforted by the very essence of intention of the Father’s heart towards His children. His love is incomparable and His faithfulness never wavers. I will face the mountain, but I will never take my eyes off of Him.  

So sweet, sweet mamas, when mountains appear and the waves of the storms rage threatening your foothold, remember who holds tomorrow. Begin to remind yourself in declaration who goes before you and who knows your name. I had to. Find your tribe and call on them, find wise council and trust it. Remember, that vulnerable times don’t make you weak, they make you wise, for I have found it is in the times when we are at our lowest, God will remind us and reveal to us who we are and what are created for. Remind yourself, just as I have, that this too shall pass, and one day we will see how God used the seasons in our life for His glory. We can celebrate that God never wastes an opportunity to bring good out of what was meant to harm us.I am so grateful for the opportunity this last few weeks have presented for me to refresh, renew, reset, and restart, even in the midst of the chaos I don’t understand, and I am so thankful for the journey back to the beginning. 


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Christi is a wife and mom to six children through blended family. She attends and leads at Garden Valley Church in Roseburg, Oregon, is a published author, and founder of Just Be You Ministries. Her favorite drink is cold brew coffee and her favorite sweet treat is an old fashioned chocolate donut. She enjoys reading, traveling and hosting her friends and family at home. Check her out on Instagram and Facebook


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Christi Stone

Christi is a wife and mom to six children through blended family. She attends and leads at Garden Valley Church in Roseburg, Oregon, is a published author, and founder of Just Be You Ministries. Her favorite drink is cold brew coffee and her favorite sweet treat is an old fashioned chocolate donut. She enjoys reading, traveling and hosting her friends and family at home. Check her out on Instagramand Facebook!