By Jaclyn Weidner
If you’ve ever cleaned poop out of a bathtub, or watched a child unroll the toilet paper in order to buy extra shower minutes. If you’ve ever locked yourself in the bathroom for a moment of sanity or a snack, or arrived at a destination only to discover one child doesn’t have shoes…
Then this post it for you.
Imposter Syndrome. No one is equipped for this. Even if you were a Girl Scout, President of The Babysitters Club, or the oldest of 7 children; this motherhood thing and these particular kids and circumstances are unique.
But…here’s the good news mama! You are not alone! You, in Christ, have a secret weapon! And seriously, as a mom, you are an every-day-this-is-the-most-demanding-job-ever Superhero (cue dramatic music). So, if you are not currently using your secret weapon, it is time to pull out the big guns!
And no I’m not talking about Netflix or Duct tape; though both are incredibly useful in my household. I am talking about the Holy Spirit here ladies. If He is here to help me with every other area of my life, why wouldn’t He also be here to help me as a mother, in my most challenging, all-consuming, most-important role?
This is a game-changer. And yes I realize this article has a lot of hyphens but I am hoping it helps to emphasize the point ;)
The Holy Spirit is described as a ‘helper’ and an ‘advocate.’ And as moms we NEED all the help and advocacy we can get our hands on.
So how exactly can the Holy Spirit help me in my motherhood? What does that look like? Well for me, it usually starts with a minor crisis. Recently I noticed that every time I picked my oldest up from school we got into a fight. She had a bad attitude, which triggered a bad attitude in me, and before we could drive the 3 minutes home, someone was crying, whining, or shouting. (I’m embarrassed to say how many times that was me.)
Running out of other options, I decided to pray. I needed supernatural wisdom to intervene in a dire situation. So I prayed, deep breath, “Okay Holy Spirit, please come into this situation. Help me to be calm. Give me words to say and help me to know when to listen. I need your help here, please lead me.”
And then I left the van to pick her up. In the chaos of managing the younger sisters, and the begging for playdates and snacks, I sort of forgot about this prayer. But as we began to drive home I could tell something was different. I was calmer. I was more focused. The comments that were my usual triggers didn’t cause me to escalate the situation. I was rooted in peace which overflowed and facilitated an atmosphere of calm.
It was like having an oil diffuser permeating the room, and truth be told, I need the power of this diffuser every moment of every day. When I can pause in a moment of frustration or overwhelm and pray a similar prayer, things do not tend to go sideways as they used to.
When a child is having a tantrum and I don’t have a natural resource for understanding or compassion, the Holy Spirit helps me see them with His eyes. My own natural response is often to yell as a means of calming the situation, which is both ironic and never helpful. But when I ask the Holy Spirit for help, He helps me see their little heart, which so often is just as confused by their own behavior. And together we work to discover the reasons behind the outburst and appropriate consequences or solutions.
What is the recurring situation you are facing that needs a little extra intervention? What is the “thing” that feels helpless and hopeless? Maybe you have prayed about it. Maybe it still feels hopeless. My encouragement is this: Invite the Holy Spirit into it. Ask Him for the supernatural wisdom, peace, and presence that is able to transform even the most hopeless situation. You’ve got this mama - you are not alone.
“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.” John 14:26
Jaclyn is a part-time high school teacher, and full-time mom to 3 energetic and talkative little girls. She loves to dive deep in conversation to get to the good stuff. In the words of her 4 year old she’s “just a little bit funny”. Her and her husband Brendan live just outside of Vancouver, Canada. Check her out on Instagram and Facebook.